I was at the shuttle bus stand this morning with my mother in law. I saw another lady waiting for the bus as well. I have seen her often around the condo and she looked familiar. I have often wanted to ask her if she had a house in Bangalore. I decided today was my chance to do so.
Me: Aunty...by any chance do you have a house in Koramangala , Bangalore? ( I thought she was my old landlord's wife).
She: No..I am a singaporean. I have been here for 40+ years. Long time....
Me: Oh!! Okie. You look very familiar... so i thought id ask you.
Smiles Exchanged...
She: Where are you from? Bangalore?
Now this is a question I find very tricky. Born in kerala, married to a tamilian , settled at Bangalore. So where do I belong? I think to all of these and may be more. The time based logic that I have spent 21 years of my life in Trivandrum made me say " Kerala". Her face looked slightly confused, maybe she heard me speak tamil to my mother in law a while ago. I quickly added up "She is from Coimbatore".
She: Aahhh ok.
She spoke in tamil to amma about her life, children and asked amma how she found Singapore. Amma replied with a "Yes...its good". The two ladies got chatting and somewhere down the line she asked amma...
She: You are a brahmin?
My blood is already asking me how it matters. But I chose to be a silent spectator of the elderly conversation.
Amma replied: Yes.
She: Iyengar?
Amma: No... Iyer.
Now I knew this was coming even before she asked.
She (now looking at me): You are also???
Even before I blinked my eye, amma stepped in and replied "Yes, she is also iyer".
All I could do is return both the ladies a smile. Their world is strange.I do not belong there for sure. I do not understand the importance of being a Nair nor being an Iyer. Being either does not give me any more importance or value than what I truely am. I would like to teach my kids that there are two people...only two. The good and the bad. Nothing more....Absolutely nothing more.
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Okay... Now a lot of people felt I was upset about it. No I am not. Not with the lady , nor my MIL. They have the right to talk and live the way they believe best. I posted the difference between us.
I still wonder how I would have answered that question myself. May be I would have ended it with a smile or best given her an insight into my confused identity... May be.
I am ofcourse not ashamed or proud of where I come from nor what I inherited. That is all your honour!
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